Tough Travelling“Tough Traveling” is a weekly Thursday feature created by Nathan at Review Barn where participants make a new list each week based on The Tough Guide to Fantasyland by Diana Wynne Jones. This hilarious little book cheerfully pokes fun at the most prevalent tropes in fantasy. All are welcome to take part, and there is a link up over at his site. Join in any time!

This week’s trope is SNARKY SIDEKICKS:

Why is everyone so serious all the time?  Perhaps they need a friend that is there with a quick bit of wit to liven the day; even if the day is looking to quickly turn to blood. (Not actually found in the Tough Guide)

Ooo best topic ever! I decided to make things interesting by only choosing non-human snarky sidekicks, specifically fae.

Peter Pan and WendyTinker Bell – Peter Pan and Wendy by J.M. Barrie
Tinker Bell is the quintessential snarky sidekick…which is especially cool when you consider the fact that she doesn’t even say anything in the entire book! Well, not in English anyway. Fairy language sounds like the tinkling of bells to human ears. But Peter translates for her a few times and it’s always gold. 

Best Snarky Moment:
“He tried to argue with her. ‘You know you can’t be my fairy Tink, because I am a gentleman and you are a lady.’ To this Tink replied in these words, ‘You silly ass’ and disappeared into the bathroom.”

22895264Tink – Wicked by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Tink is a brownie, a benevolent fae creature in a world where the fae are generally considered evil killing machines. The protagonist calls him Tink (after Tinker Bell) because he won’t tell her his real name. He’s always ready with a Harry Potter quote! 

Best Snarky Moment:
“Grabbing a scarf off the chair, I threw it at him. He caught it, clutching it to his chest as he flew into the air. ‘You gave Tink a scarf. Tink is free!’ He flew out into the hallway like a little cracked-out fairy, screeching, ‘Tink is freeeeee!’ Ren looked at me. ‘What the actual f*ck?’ I sighed. ‘He’s obsessed with Harry Potter. I’m sorry.'”

Dead Witch WalkingJenks – The Hollows series by Kim Harrison
Jenks is a pixy – don’t you dare call him a fairy, or he will pix you with his magic dust and you’ll be sorry! He is full of verve and wit and, when the occasion calls for it, some seriously foul insults. He is also the father of a bajillion pixy children (that is not the actual number, but it’s a lot). 

Best Snarky Moment:
“‘Jenks!’ I called after him. ‘We aren’t leaving for at least an hour!’ It didn’t take that long to say goodbye. ‘Yeah?’ came his faint voice. ‘You think my kids just popped out of the ground?'”

 Eyes Like StarsMoth, Mustardseed, Cobwb, and Peaseblossom – Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev
These three fairies are pulled straight from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and they’ve got the sass to prove it! 

Best Snarky Moment:
“‘She’s under duress,’ Peaseblossom said. ‘I don’t care if she’s under duress, over it, or alongside it,’ Moth said. ‘Nothing in this world supersedes cake.'”